I will write anything that relates to me being a mother to a Down Syndrome Boy, being a weekend wife,as a daughterand as a human being...

Friday, September 30, 2005


As my children were born,
I wanted them to be perfect.

When they were babies,
I wanted them to smile and be content playing with their toys.
I wanted them to be happy and to laugh continually
instead of crying and being demanding.
I wanted them to see the beautiful side of life.

As they grew older,
I wanted them to be giving instead of selfish.
I wanted them to skip the terrible twos.
I wanted them to stay innocent forever.

As they became teenagers,
I wanted them to be obedient and not rebelious, mannerly and not mouthy,
I wanted them to be full of love,gentle and kind-hearted.
"Oh, God, give me a child like this" was often my prayer.
One day He did. Some call him hanmdicapped...I call him Perfect!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A child's frustration

I've read in Ayah's blog on Zaim's frustration for not being able to participate in his scholl I would like to share my experience many years ago which has left a very deep cut in my heart till now...
When i was 8 years old I was picked by my ustazah(sekolah agama) to be one of the presenter in the syarahan session for the school's annual prize giving ceremony....the text was written by my father...I've watched my father carefully search for the right hadith and verse from the Holy Quran to be included in that piece of 'syarahan' was something very creatively written and to be presented by her daughter...
later my ustazah read the piece and agreed that it was inded a very nice piece...then come the part where I had to hafal and taught by my ustazah on how is the lenggok, so it would attract people to hear my syarahan... the actions..I was so proud at that time..cause I'm the only 8 year old pupil who would be doing her solo presentation...betapa petahnya I masa tu.. I had to practise in school before the session start and after school and I will dutifully practise in front of my fact i practise everywhere...make pronounciation is clear..ayat and hadis dibaca dengan betul...
And then 2 weeks before the ustazah said that i can't performed that day because i'm too small ..they afraid that I would be so nervous on that day and i would loss all the words..i couldn't believe myself to hear those things after sacrifying my time and effort and it was wasted just like that...and do you know that my piece was handed over to a much older kakak at that school..they even dare to give the syarahan that my babah karangkan...i was so angry at that time but what could i do..i was only 8 years old...
back home when i told my babah what happen...i can see that he is also frustrated...he confronted my ustazah but the same excuse was given and my babah lost for words...
On the day of the ceremony, when they called upon that kakak to present the syarahan..tears slowly running down my cheek and i followed every word that she said and i tak lupa satu perkataan pun....i could never forget that day....